Case Day: Beer 24

Approximate BAC: .???
Weight: 174.5 lbs
Pizzas eaten: One
Red Bulls Drank: One
Trips to Walmart: 1
Movies "watched": 7
Trips to SuFu: 1
Beers Bonged: 3

How did I lose weight doing this?

Drunk at 4 in the afternoon. I've been drinking since 10:24. On a sunday. I'm going to hell


Sweet.

Case Day: Beer 12

Approximate BAC: .???
Weight: 176.5 lbs
Pizzas eaten: One
Red Bulls Drank: One
Trips to Walmart: 1
Movies "watched": 2.5
Trips to SuFu: 1

Case Day: Beer 9

Approximate BAC: .09
Weight: 177.0 lbs (before peeing, 175 after)
Pizzas eaten: One
Red Bulls Drank: One
Trips to Walmart: 1
Movies "watched": 1.75
Trips to Sioux Falls: 1

Case Day: Beer 6.5

Went to Sioux Falls to Cold Stone Creamery

Case Day: Beer 6

Approximate BAC: .076
Weight: 177.0 lbs
Pizzas eaten: 1
Red Bulls Drank: None
Trips to Walmart: 1
Movies "watched": 1.5

Case Day: Beer 3.5 -> If your cat is in heat

• Grab wailing, squirming cat and place it on your lap with its hind quarters readily accessible. Chances are the cat will freely offer them, if not the first time this procedure is followed, then certainly each time afterward.
• Insert the Q-tip into the cat's vagina. It will be exposed and puffy. Do not insert the Q-tip into the other orifice. Either way the cat will begin to scream, but there is a subtle and audible difference in the scream of satisfaction and the scream of rectal pain. Experiment a little until you can distinguish the two.
• Move the Q-tip in and out of the cat's vagina slowly at first, then more rapidly. No need to be gentle, no matter what you do with the Q-tip it beats a barbed cat penis digging around in there.
• You are finished when the cat is finished. You will know when the cat is finished because it will either begin immediately to have a cat orgasm, or it will run away with the Q-tip sticking out of its ass. If this happens let it enjoy itself for a few minutes before attempting to retrieve your Q-tip.
• That is it, you are done. Enjoy the peace and quiet until the cat flares up again.
  
  What to look for: The cat orgasm that follows this procedure is something the likes of which I have never seen elsewhere. It is a wriggling, leaping, moaning dance of ecstasy that defies any experience of pleasure my mind can even begin to grasp. If humans had orgasms with the intensity of a cat serviced in this way there would be no such thing as war, hunger, capitalism or God.
  
  Background: A cat in heat is, with few exceptions, one of the most irritating things to have living in your home. A cat in heat will follow you around and howl at you in a bone chilling, hideous wail until you are ready just to toss it outside and let it get pounded by the local tom's. After a few days of this torture having to drown a few kittens sounds relaxing. This cat-saving technique was first demonstrated to me by a terminally un-squeemish roomate of years past.

  
  

Case Day: Beer 3

Approximate BAC: .035
Weight: 175.0 lbs
Pizzas eaten: None
Red Bulls Drank: None
Trips to Walmart: 1
Movies "watched": 1

Chicken Fucker

If you see this guy on campus (he lives in The Annex, Room 120). Make sure you call him a "[poultry type]-fucker" and kick him in the junk.

Also, if you know me and the story behind this assclown, make sure you kick him again when he's down.

This fool is also in Facebook, address jrbuchanan@jacks.sdstate.edu

Have fun!

Pictures

I know some of you want me to post the link to my picture server so here you go:

claussen dot dyndns dot org

There you go. Have a good time and leave lots of comments. If you're a friend, feel free to join up and post your own pictures, too!

claus